When I woke up this morning I had received an email from ePassporte customer support instructing me to call in to card services where they would remedy my situation, so of course I called immediately. I think there must have been a significant notation on my account, because I got the impression that the technician was talking to a manager over his shoulder the entire time, and nothing he said or did could be considered anything other than exceedingly polite. They offered right away to call my bank and authorize removal of the hold, so I suppose all's well that ends well...

... if, at that point, I could have gone to the pharmacy and grocery store to pick up my medication and some food. Instead, at exactly that instant I noticed that Shin-Shin had somehow horribly injured her eye, and we ran out the door to the veterinarian's office at top speed. Luckily it was not as bad as I first thought, and since Shin-Shin is insured and I already had some non-expired eye ointment from the last eye injury the total was a little less than twenty dollars (still more than half of my entire balance, but less than it could have been).

On the plus side of things, I'm a finalist in a dating contest! Okay, it's not a normal dating contest... an online comic (www.stripteasecomic.com) ran a "dating contest" where the winner goes on a date with one of the characters in the comic, Damion (a gothy, caffeine-addicted drummer). Since I've been having such a huge run of bad luck lately (I'm broke, camera broke, car broke, microwave broke, fingernail broke - okay, maybe that last one isn't so bad) so I thought it would be fun to enter the contest...

... and now I'm one of four finalists! The contest is voted on by site visitors here:

http://www.stripteasecomic.com/stuff/specials/Damiondatefinals.htm

If you have time, please (please, please, please) go and vote for me. If you have friends, please (please, please, please) have them go and vote for me. You can vote once every day between now and Monday, so go back and vote again over the weekend, too. I never really date, and I haven't gone out for such a long time, that even though this is just a pretend date it would absolutely thrill me if I won. Plus, part of the prize is that I would get some souvenirs mailed to me from the date, and maybe one of them would be leftovers from the restaurant! Not to mention the fact that being drawn into somebody else's comic for a change wouldn't be so shabby, either...

So, realizing that I would need a way for people to conveniently pay me for illustration services once my portfolio was up (or to contribute to the site monetarily), I decided to sign up for ePassporte this evening. This was on a long list of other things I had to, including picking up my drugs at the pharmacy and grocery shopping. For those of you that don't know, ePassporte is an online payment service similar to (but not exactly the same as) PayPal... a major difference is that ePassporte doesn't discriminate against businesses with adult-content affiliations. I didn't realize at first that I would have to start out by loading $50 on my new ePassporte card, but that was all right since I had $90 in my account (a lot for me, with my rampant medical expenses, but it was there). I went through the sign-up process, where they:

1. Put a $50 hold on my debit card
2. Put a small verifying charge on my debit card
3. After I verified, put a separate $50 charge on my debit card

This, of course, brought me to a negative balance of approximately $10, which meant that I could not pick up my drugs or any groceries (which I sort of consider to be essential for survival). I called my bank, and they informed me that the two $50 amounts were indeed separate (even if one is only a hold, they have separate transaction numbers) and the only way the first amount could be removed is if ePassporte called them and informed them that this was allowable (my bank support staff cannot make outside calls, and it wasn't their fault anyway).

I called ePassporte then, to request that they call my bank and authorize the removal of the hold, and this is when I got the worst customer service that I have ever received in my life. Jamel (the service agent who "helped" me) was very short with me and interrupted me many times. He refused to let me speak with anyone else there and didn't accept that there might be anything wrong with authorizing as a separate transaction from charging (normally an authorization is identified with the same transaction number as a charge, so that when the charge clears the authorization falls off automatically). He was unwilling to call my bank (claiming to also be unable to call out, but since the overdraft was their fault I believe an exception could have been made). He also said there was no way for me to cancel my sign-up if I was dissatisfied... my money was there, so I could either leave it there or spend it through their service. He said I could call back in the morning, but this doesn't really help me tonight when I have no food and no medication (food and medication that I had the money to buy until I signed up with ePassporte).

Is this what my potential customers are going to go through if I ask them to pay me through ePassporte and they try to sign up for an account? I explained to Jamel that I intended to use ePassporte to do business and that this didn't make a very good impression, and from the start he was rude and treated me like a "problem customer" even though I clearly stated my case the entire time without profanity or attitude. I also explained that this might be considered a special circumstance, as I am disabled and in need of medication, and he wouldn't even reply. If they don't remedy this in the morning (and politely, too) I'm going to report them to the Better Business Bureau (since they are located within the United States), and give them a none too nice review on any consumer sites I can access.

I am aware that the hold charge will fall off in 3-5 business days, but to tie up a new customer's money without warning (and to be so rude about it when a simple phone call would have solved the whole thing) seems unacceptable to me. I sent the following email to ePassporte to state my case, and I will definitely be following up with a phone call in the morning:

"I signed up this evening for an ePassporte account on the recommendation of some business associates. I was thoroughly disgusted at the way the process ended up, and unless the situation is remedied I will not only never use ePassporte again, but I will also inform everyone I know of my decision and the reasoning behind it. Tonight I have posted my experience on some frequently visited professional boards (for artists, webmasters, etc.) to see if anyone has had similar experiences... I figured this would help me decide how to deal with this. Because I do not want to re-type the whole situation, and because I feel ePassporte should know exactly what's being said, here is what I posted:

*QUOTE ABOVE INCIDENT, NEARLY WORD FOR WORD*

As I said in my post, I don't think this is an acceptable way to do business, and if even one of *my* clients had to go through this to pay me then my reputation would suffer as well. I will be phoning in the morning, and I expect things to be resolved swiftly and politely (well, based on Jamel's customer service skills I expect things to be ignored and worked around instead of solved, but I *hope* things will be resolved swiftly and politely). This whole thing could have been solved with a five minute phone call to my bank, and I could be back from the pharmacy already with my medication (that I paid for with the money that should be in my account). I find it hard to believe there are no outgoing telephones in the entire building and no exceptions are made under any circumstances... what do your employees do in the event of a fire or emergency, hope that the fire department phones in?"

I have been having fairly bad luck lately with both my health and finances... hopefully I'll be getting some of these things straightened out soon and will have more time to work on the site. I'll keep everyone posted...

I had known for quite a while that my use of PayPal might be questionable according to their terms of service (PayPal has a strict policy of not accepting money for adult goods or services)... I had a contribution button included in my site (although it was not in my members area and no goods or services were offered in exchange for a contribution) which has both adult and non-adult material. I accepted payments through PayPal for graphic design work which sometimes featured adult illustrations, but was mostly just character or logo work. I also accepted PayPal as payment for eBay auctions, none of which were restricted adult items. All of my information was accurate and verified, so it was obvious that I was not trying to hide anything or participate in any kind of 'shady activity'. Overall, I think my use of PayPal was borderline, so I knew they might one day cancel my account although I have to admit I was surprised that they bothered...

...when I discovered this evening that PayPal had closed my account and frozen my substantial balance of eighty-two cents. Just so you know, if you ever get closed by PayPal, this is the email that you will receive:

The PayPal User Agreement states that PayPal, at its sole discretion,
reserves the right to close an account for any violation of the User
Agreement, including the Acceptable Use Policy. Under the Acceptable Use
Policy, PayPal may not be used to send or receive payments for any adult,
sexually oriented, or obscene materials or services. The complete
Acceptable Use Policy addressing Adult Material can be found at the
following URL:

http://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=p/gen/ua/use/index_frame-outside&ed=mature

We are hereby notifying you that, after a recent review of your account
activity, it has been determined that you are in violation of PayPal's
Acceptable Use Policy. Therefore, your account has been closed.

If you have a remaining balance, we will be issuing this to you by check.
Please be sure that your account information is accurate, as PayPal cannot
be held responsible for incorrect information provided by the account
holder.

Please note that accounts found in violation of PayPal's Mature Audiences
Policy will not be reinstated. Enforcement of our policies is not
reflective of seller status or volume of sales.

You will need to remove all references to PayPal from your website(s)
and/or auction(s). This includes not only removing PayPal as a payment
option, but also the PayPal logo and/or shopping cart. We thank you in
advance for your cooperation. If you have any questions, please contact
the PayPal Compliance Department at paypal-compliance@paypal.com.

Sincerely,
PayPal Compliance Department
PayPal, an Ebay Company

Well, nobody really sends me a lot of money for anything, so I didn't feel too bad about losing my PayPal account, although I'm sure it will be inconvenient the next time I try to buy or sell anything on eBay. I did as the email instructed and removed any PayPal reference from my site (if anyone catches one that I missed, please let me know)... unfortunately this took up the time I had reserved for updating the site, so that will have to happen a little later. For right now I'm going to research other options for accepting money online... I think I'll likely end up going with ePassporte, but I'll have to look into it a little more closely first.

If anyone was thinking of contributing to my site any time soon (hahaha), I'd like to point out that I can still take checks or money orders (or comic books, or lingerie, or shoes, or Red Bull...) at my mailing address, which is listed under 'Contact' to the left.

I have been enjoying my new microwave so much... I just didn't realize how much I was taking my old microwave for granted until I didn't have one anymore. Now I'm heating up everything... pasta, soup, fruity pebbles, jell-o...

I'm so exhausted that I was going to just hit the sack tonight and write a journal entry later, but I forgot to take my allergy medication (and it's difficult to sleep when you have head to toe itchy hives) so here I am typing instead. Hopefully the medicine will kick in before too long, though, because I only have one Red Bull left and I'm saving it for morning.

I had a pretty awesome day today. My mother was meeting friends for lunch in Woodburn (about forty minutes South of here), so my dad drove up with her and I drove down to meet them. While my mom visited with her friends my dad took me over the freeway to the Super Wal-Mart, where he not only replaced my microwave (well, with a much cheaper - but totally adequate - model) but also bought me some groceries to go with it. He kept having to prompt me to pick up more food, because I'm used to shopping on my budget and figured I was done when I had two cans of soup, a loaf of bread, and some Red Bull. After that he even gave me some money so I could buy gas to get home and replace my other tire (the one that has little bits of wire mesh showing through the rubber).

I was trying not to let my parents see quite how ill I've been, because my mother worries, but I was so run down by the time we were done shopping that I pretty much had to run straight home. All I have to do tomorrow is buy that used tire and color my hair (I still have the left over dye I didn't use), so I should be able to get some artwork done between naps, especially now that I have things like food and caffeine to inspire me.

If my luck gets any worse, I swear the earth will open up and swallow me. Actually, with my luck it will probably only swallow me halfway and I would be stuck there in the ground with no legs and flailing arms. I was really hoping that I'd get a payment from my old processor service today, but nothing showed up. I checked on their site and they claim that I'll be receiving a payment on Monday, but I'm not going to hold my breath or anything. My new service, on the other hand, is supposed to be cutting me a check on Monday and getting it in the mail, and I'm actually optimistic that this will happen since I don't have any reason to believe otherwise.

Currently I have less than a dollar in my bank account, but I'm not totally freaking out yet as I don't have anything coming out of the account, either. I'm behind on payments for my site hosting, but my host is very understanding and he knows that I haven't received any money from the site yet this month and that I'll pay my bill as soon as it comes in. I have to have $140 in my account by the 26th of this month to cover my pet health insurance (they have more coverage than I do), but other than that nothing will come out of my account until after the first of the month when my Social Security arrives. That doesn't mean, however, that I couldn't use some income... not only is my car broken, and my digital camera as well, but just today my microwave died. I had just figured out that I had one package of Hamburger Helper left (I bought a bunch when it was on sale for super cheap a few weeks ago) and I could make it up and it would last me until Monday when my payment arrives (yeah, right...) and then my microwave went toes up so now I'll have to eat it all cold. Pfft. I have to say, though, that a replacement microwave is pretty low on my list of priorities right now; I just noticed that one of my tires has the wire mesh showing through (I believe that is some kind of indication that it should be changed, yes?) and I'm nearly out of art supplies (and since it's my main source of income the site needs to come first). I also still have to register for the So.Cal. Gen Con Art Show before it fills up... ack! Luckily I've never been one to stress... either I can fix a situation and I do, or else I can't and then I don't (and I don't waste a lot of time worrying about it, either).

If I don't receive the payment on Monday I think I may audition at a local strip club Tuesday evening... I can't really take the activity with my joints the way they are right now, but it's not a very high pressure club and I really need to do something that generates immediate income to take care of my backlog of repairs and bills. I still have left over hair dye under the sink, so I think I may dye my hair and mend a good number of my costumes just in case. Working one or two shifts a week would be a big strain on my health, but it would be worth it if it keeps the site up, my car running, and my food warm. I can just take extra drugs to cover it, especially if I can afford them...

I cropped and posted the last photo set my camera managed to produce before it died... the photo quality is a bit poor (I think this is because the camera was slowly edging toward it's end) but they're not as bad as they could have been. They'll have to do, anyway, since I can't take any more for two or three weeks. I also secured and uploaded two more photo sets for the Julia's Choice gallery... in the first place I'm really trying to flesh it out because it's a new section of the site, and in the second place I'm trying to add as much content as I can to make up for my camera being down. I'm still working on the new clip art set (elves in bondage), too, but it's taking a while longer; I really want to include a lot of pieces this time, and I'm working on more variety for the poses and subjects.

Just when I thought I was done for the evening I realized I'd run out of fruits and vegetables for the sugar gliders... and what was I to do about it with no money in my account? I ended up taking back my recycling and counting all of my change, for a total of just over four dollars. Luckily four dollars will buy one broccoli floret, four sugar snap peas, one baby fruit cocktail... and a sugar free Red Bull. Woo. Splurge.

Not only did I get free lunch with my father today, but he even came over and picked me up on account of my health being so poor lately... woo! Not only was this handy because of how sick I've been, but I've also been trying to avoid driving my car as much as possible... the tires are bad, the brakes are bad, the oil could use changing, the belt is loose (my car only has one belt for everything) and gas prices are damn high! We went to Burgerville for lunch and both had Tillamook cheeseburgers and strawberry shortcake... I have to admit, I kind of appreciate a fast food chain that offers local ingredients and seasonal desserts. Now, if only I could afford to eat out when I wasn't being treated by relatives...

To give you a summary of what my days are like when I'm not feeling so well, here's an idea: I start out by waking up around eleven or noon, usually achy and sporting a headache the size of Anna Nicole's chest. When I can afford to keep some Red Bull in the fridge it really helps with this... the caffeine helps shake off the residual sleepiness (which can really hinder my attempts to get anything done) and all of the other crazy ingredients usually help my headache go away (especially if I'm using them to wash down some kind of painkiller). I spend about half an hour feeding the pets and picking up the house (it's amazing how one can have the time and energy to mess up an apartment and still be too sick to clean it) and then I try to run any business-hours errands I might have (doctors appointments, phone calls, grocery store, banking, etc.) or get some work done on the site. A few hours later, sometime between three and five in the afternoon usually, I start to feel sick again and won't be able to accomplish anything else until I nap (I've tried to fight it, but I just end up with a whopping headache to the point where I can't concentrate on anything, anyway). I nap until nine most of the time, when I wake up again, hopefully drink some tea or another Red Bull, and then - if all goes well - finish whatever I was working on earlier in the day. This goes well until just after midnight, when my day is pretty much over with and I can feed the pets again and call it a night (this is also when I try to check in with friends and relatives and spend some amount of quality time with my menagerie of animals). I read for a bit in bed before I totally crash out, and then that's all she wrote until I wake up again around noon the next day.

So, that's how my schedule works when I'm not feeling up to par... a number of people have been asking about my health lately, so I thought I'd offer up some details of just how exciting my life actually is. Despite this schedule I still managed to finish three and a half (the last bit isn't inked yet) images for the new clip art collection (maybe I'll finish the rest tomorrow and get the whole set uploaded) and I started cropping the last photo set I shot before my camera died. I have yet to get through my giant backlog of emails, though... sigh...

As some (or, more likely, most) of you might recall, I switched payment processors about a month ago... as a result, I haven't received a recent payment from my old service and I have yet to receive a payment from the new one. Also, thanks to my recent bout of lupus goodness, I haven't been able to work a shift at Mary's for the last three weeks, so things are pretty tight here budget-wise. Hopefully I'll get the payment situation worked out soon, and then I should get the whole past-due amount, but in the meantime I'll definitely be saving pennies and taking back all of my recycling.

I do have a list of things that I'm thinking of doing with the site once my budget improves... one idea that I'm toying with (and I've mentioned this idea before) is a Tomcat gallery with tasteful erotic photography featuring male models. Because of the artwork and other (non-pinup) content on my site I have a fair number of straight female and gay male visitors, and also a lot of couples (I think maybe my site is less threatening than most), and I thought it might be kind of nice to thank them by doing what I'm doing with the Julia's Choice gallery, only using male models instead. This would take at least a minor financial investment, and it would be some time before I could afford it anyway, so in the meantime I'd really appreciate it if my site visitors would email me and let me know what they think. This is definitely an idea that would take a lot of thinking about, and since I can't afford so much caffeine lately I can use all the help thinking that I can get. If I did do a Tomcat gallery it wouldn't take away from my other photographs or gallery efforts, it would just be a small bonus for those visitors that don't so much appreciate the naked women. Hrm...

First thing this morning (or, more accurately, first thing this afternoon, when I'd still only had three hours of sleep) I took my camera in to Best Buy and discovered that I had, indeed, purchased the additional, extended, four-year warranty, and so luckily for me the repairs to the CD drive wouldn't cost me anything (well, except for the gas to get there and back, which at this point in my poverty is a fairly significant expense). Unluckily, however, the camera has to be sent in to Sony for the repair work to have it, and apparently I will be without it for two to four weeks! At first I didn't know what I would do, since I haven't been adding enough of my own photography anyway and was really planning on shooting a lot this coming week (I'd scheduled another shoot with Lilith and was working on one with Erika and possibly even a third with another friend), but then I realized that really isn't anything else I can do... none of my friends have a high enough resolution camera that I could borrow it for site work, and I certainly can't afford to rent one or purchase one and then return it (highly unethical, I'm sure... but I've heard people do it). For now what I'll do is work on getting the one set of photos from last night up (the one set that halfway turned out), and then I'll have to purchase more photos for the Julia's Choice gallery (I have some photo sets in mind that I saw the night before last, but I'd hoped to wait on spending more money until I had some of my other expenses - like registering for the So.Cal. Gen Con Art Show - taken care of). I can also use the camera-less down time to catch up on my art work... when I got home from Best Buy (and after a nap) I started penciling out a new clip art set based on some anime-style elves in bondage.

My arthritis is acting up and for some reason it's causing my hand to spasm, so no more artwork this evening... I was just trying to boil some eggs in the kitchen for the sugar gliders, and every time I was about to put one in the sauce pan my hand would spasm and I would accidentally crush the egg. Out of a dozen eggs only four managed to make it into the pot... I kind of looked like the fourth stooge afterward, with egg splattered all over my face, my shirt, the counter, and the floor. Pfft.

I think I would feel especially put-upon today if I didn't have tomorrow to look forward to... my dad is coming to town and so far we have lunch plans at least, if not some window shopping as well. Woo. Family and free lunch.

Oh my god... by the end of today I was seriously considering throwing in the towel, if by throwing in one meant throwing at, and if by towel one meant rocks, and if the silence at the end of that statement actually implied the phrase 'at innocent bystanders'. I'd planned to head over to Lilith's this evening so she could help me shoot some photos, since I haven't really added as many of my own photos as I usually like to lately, so I figured I'd have a leisurely day of painting my toenails and coloring my hair in preparation for tonight. I also planned to be a ballerina when I was five, and today's plans turned out just about as well...

In the first place, I was woken up this morning by a call from my sister, who turned out to be deathly ill and needed to get to the doctor right away. Unfortunately there was an accounting incident involving her insurance about a month ago, so she was currently uninsured and had no idea what to do or where to go since her primary care physician would be unable to see her until everything was straightened out (and we all know how swiftly things are taken care of when the average joe tries to straighten things out with a major health insurance provider). So, while she was in the process of driving to my place, I was in the process of calling every doctor in the area in an attempt to find an inexpensive clinic that could see her today and would hopefully accept payment from our mother over the phone (since neither my sister nor myself had any money). By the time she arrived I'd found an urgent care clinic only twenty minutes away, but it took us at least thirty minutes to get there after the 'I'm pulling over right now so please don't puke in my car' pit stop along the way.

The time spent in the clinic waiting room was absolutely lovely for me, since I was not only worried about my sister but also had been unaware that today they were running a crack whore special and nearly every other person in the waiting room was fifty pounds underweight, trembling, crying, vomiting, and yelling at their pimps over the courtesy phone (okay, only one woman was doing that last bit, but it was one woman too many in my opinion). After what seemed like an eternity (but actually was closer to an hour), Wendy was released and we ran away screaming.

Of course with all of that going on I didn't get any chance to color my hair, but I did manage to at least paint my nails. Lilith had requested that I show up a little past midnight since that was the most convenient time for her (about half an hour after the children are asleep), and of course when I arrived right on time the kids were still up and running around (and had no intention of going to bed now that company was there). It took another hour and a half before we could even get started shooting photos, so by then both of us were pretty tired and fairly grumpy. Lilith kept hinting at the fact that they all had to wake up early for school in the morning, but I wanted to at least shoot something, since I'd gone to a lot of effort to put the costumes and such together and show up at a specific time, so we were determined to breeze through two or three sets as swiftly as we could.

About halfway into the first set, Lilith pulled the camera cord out of the wall and everything went downhill from there... the screen kept repeating 'repairing data', which I had never seen before (and which couldn't possibly be good), and the camera kept accessing the CD a lot more than it ever had previously. After a while, though, it seemed to be back to normal so we just kept shooting even though I had an uneasy feeling in the back of my mind that somehow something had gone horribly wrong. Eventually we finished and I speedily packed up my stuff and ran out the door, and only when I arrived home did I discover the terrible truth... two out of three CDs that we'd shot failed to finalize properly, and the third only contained a fraction of the photos it should have held. Panicked that somehow we'd managed to break my camera, I shot a number of test CDs... and every single one turned out badly, either not finalizing properly or not registering the photos at all.

Aaaarrrrrgghhhhhh! Here it was, four in the morning, and I suddenly had no digital camera and only one half-assed set of crappy photos that we snapped in a hurry. I didn't know what I would do... there's no way I could afford to replace my camera (or even buy a lesser model) and without the ability to take photos I figured my site membership would dwindle fast. It's been two years since I bought it, so I didn't even consider that it might be under warranty... until I actually thought to call Best Buy's twenty-four hour customer support, who informed me that they thought I'd purchased the extended warranty, which would mean free, covered repairs. So, I guess I will stop freaking out for now and try to get some sleep. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I had pretty much the best Mother's Day ever today, especially for somebody who isn't even a mother (I don't think that having six cats qualifies me, although frequently I feel like a mom). My parents came over for a visit and I made spaghetti for them (that was my mother's request), and I also baked a cherry cobbler to replace both of the cakes that I ruined (why, yes, I did ruin the second cake as well... wtf!?). I think maybe there might be something wrong (in an evil, cursed, anti-cake way) with my oven...

Anyway, my parents stayed over for a really long time, and we had a great visit. My dad got to hold the fairly grown-up baby sugar glider, although both parents were a little dismayed that I'd decided to sell their grandchild without informing them first... I guess they figure their chances of getting a real grandchild are fairly slim so they'd better make the best of what they've got now. I couldn't afford a gift for my mother aside from the dinner, but I'd been saving a card for her, and it's the thought that counts (especially if you think that you're poverty-stricken, which I do!).

After they left I sat down to do some mindless net surfing when an idea occurred to me... frequently I'm browsing the web when I discover erotic or adult photography that I enjoy looking at, and I bet my site members would enjoy seeing what I've found! Some of what I was looking at was available for use by other webmasters (for a fee, of course), so I decided that I would scrounge for funds and purchase some outside photography for my site at the first opportunity. I'm going to call the new gallery Julia's Choice, and I hope that my members enjoy looking at what I've picked out as much as I will enjoy picking it out... I'm so excited! It will be like shopping for naked girls! Well, actually, it will be shopping for naked girls!

And yes, in case you missed it, the moral of today is that even though I was too poor to buy a Mother's Day gift for my own mom, I'm totally willing to sell things and scrounge in order to buy nude photos for my website. Eep. It does kind of make sense, because if I can get the site to bring in a higher income, then I can eventually buy my mother something really nice, but even still it's kind of, well... eep.